: Humour

The Penis, Explored.


I  would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight about a time honored misconception about "the smell". Women everywhere have/are always painfully self-consciously aware about their womanly scents. Sure, once we enter into a long-term relationship, that relaxes a bit, but we still make every effort to keep the garden fresh... particularly if we're going to want to wave in the man to do some playing in the garden... head first. Ahem.


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My First Dildo


Along with my Oakland hat and a couple of t-shirts, I had acquired a miniature replica of a baseball bat with #24 Ricky Henderson’s autograph on it (mass produced, of course, not authentic). It wasn’t long after I got this collectible that I noticed its ideal size and shape; from end to end, it was probably 12 inches and the barrel was maybe just a tiny bit larger than the diameter of a quarter. Yes, it was the perfect junior sized dildo.


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Turd is the Word


II had a relationship with a guy when I was 17 that was more comfortable rather than passionate... more like 2 best mates that also had sex, a lot. We would try different things and often discuss it afterwards; what we could differently or try in the next round.


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The Little Survivor


Picture it: It was a soggy Melbourne winter night in 2000. I had just gotten off work at the dinner theatre where I was bartending and I was waiting for the tram to go home - the last tram of the night. It was cold and I was tired and a bit zoned out when the tram finally glided to a stop in front of me. The doors opened and I briefly looked up just in time to see a tiny flash of red glitter slip and fly on to me.


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